Is It Okay to Fail?
Or Have We Made Failure a Crime?
In many Indian households, failure isn’t a speed bump—it’s a crash landing.
A child comes home and says:
“Mummy, Papa… I failed.”
What follows is often not a conversation but an emotional explosion.
“Tu fail ho gaya?! Paise hi barbaad ho rahe hai ispe! Paise ki keemat hi nahi samajhte tum log!”
“Sharam kar! Humein logon ko kya muh dikhayenge?!”
And then… silence.
But inside the child? A storm brews. Next time, they may not tell the truth at all. That silence becomes secrecy, that secrecy becomes shame, and that shame sometimes becomes a suicide note.
📍 Real-Life Tragedies You Can’t Unsee
- Telangana, April 2025: Seven students die by suicide in 24 hours after failing their Intermediate exams.
- Hyderabad: A 17-year-old jumps to her death after failing just one subject.
- Faridabad: A Class 8 student leaps off a building over a Social Science failure.
Every time, the child wasn’t destroyed by failure itself—the weight of expectations and the fear of family reactions did it.
😶 The Other Extreme: “Papa Setting Kara Denge”
In another household, the reaction to failure is the complete opposite:
“Beta tension mat le, papa hai na. Marksheets manage ho jayengi.”
“Agent se baat kar li hai, college admission ho jayega.”
“Exam pass nahi hua? Chhodo, donation de denge.”
The intention is love. The result is irresponsibility.
Now the kid learns:
“I don’t need to face consequences—someone will fix it for me.”
And then one day, the real world doesn’t bend.
❌ Real Case: Tathya Patel, Ahmedabad – When 'Fixing' Turns Fatal
A rich father kept covering up his son's driving violations—no lessons, just bail-outs.
Until July 2023.
Tathya, high on privilege, paise ka power and ignorance, drove his Jaguar over the ISKCON flyover and killed nine innocent people.
That wasn’t an accident. That was the result of years of avoiding accountability.
🧠 So, What Are We Really Teaching?
Whether it's shouting at your child or shielding them from all pain, both reactions teach the same dangerous lesson:
“You’re not allowed to fail.”
No wonder, then, we have students entering colleges with fake certificates, manipulated transcripts, and a mindset that says:
“Life is about jugaad, not effort.”
In 2019, the U.S. witnessed the biggest college admissions scam.
Celebrities like Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman were caught bribing elite colleges.
The result? Prison time and public disgrace.
If this can happen in the most privileged circles of the world, what makes us think Indian kids won’t face the same consequences?
💡 What Should We Do Instead?
Let your children fail.
Yes—let them fail at a subject, at a semester, at a relationship.
Because when they’re allowed to fall, they learn how to get back up.
We’ve all failed—some in boardrooms, some in relationships, some in dreams.
But the only ones who rise are the ones who learn how to stand again.
🛠️ The Real Fix
If your child fails:
- Don’t shout. Don’t fix. Support.
- Let them rebuild. It may cost a semester, but it will save a life.
- Teach them that effort > influence.
Let’s stop treating failure as a crime.
Because a temporary failure is always better than a permanent cover-up.
Posted 1 month ago